Thirty Days of Snow
by Axis D'Etoilles
Summary: Hope and Snow are lovers in secret, at least until Snow and Serah are officially married. Once Serah sets a date a mere month away, Hope starts to panic, especially after Serah asks a favor. Snow/Hope. M in later chapters.


Thirty Days of Snow

" In one month."

Hope feels himself gasp. The rush of air filling him brought along with it doubt and panic, spreading throughout his entire body, creating a web of tension seeding deep inside his stomach. The stars above Palumpolum shone bright into Hope's wide eyes as he tried desperately to grasp a countdown of his last few days with Snow as a free man. He breathed out heavily as well, trying to mask his sudden discomfort, but Snow's booming chuckle reverberated in Hope's bones, settling with warmth.

"Yeah, I know," Snow began, flopping himself down next to Hope in the exact same pose, hands resting behind his head as the grass tickled his forearms. "I wasn't expecting her to pick such a close date either, but she says she's waited long enough." He ended with a smile, just barely visible to Hope in the gathering dark.

His entire body settles into a frown. "We won't be able to do this anymore, will we?" Hope turns over, his back facing Snow as he crumples into a smaller ball, becoming nothing but a small child compared to the other's size. "Not if you have a wife." Twilight dances off his fair skin, creating an iridescence. Hope feels the movement as Snow turns onto his side and elevates himself up off to his elbow. Hope knows what comes next, the inevitable discussion about his attitude.

"Hey, don't be like that…" Snow's voice comes surprisingly gentle as he hovers over Hope, his free arm wrapping itself around Hope and pulling him closer. "You agreed that it would b best if I stayed with her, remember?" Hope's whole body tenses. He knows, even if he would've said Snow had to break it off with Serah, he would have stayed . "I can't help it if I love her, too." Snow leans down and kisses the top of Hope's head softly, and Hope can't help but be swept away by Snow's demeanor. The way he expresses his warmth engulfs a person, washes them away like there's nothing else in the world that matters aside from Snow and the other. Hope understood quickly what made Snow so irresistible. He couldn't hate Serah or wish for her to stop seeing the blond, because he understood how deeply the tall, dark-skinned sentinel could invade someone; imprint his laugh, his smirk, and his voice into their very core.

"I understand that, stupid." Hope says back to Snow with little conviction, closing his eyes to let Snow's presence and scent absorb into him. "I just wish I had more time to let you go."

Snow's breath dances softly on his ear; there's no way Snow doesn't notice Hope's reaction to his sudden voice and warmth. "You make me sound like I'm going to die." He says softly, tugging on Hope's shoulder afterward until he's lying on his back underneath Snow. Hope makes the mistake of looking into his expressive eyes, deeply connected to the side of Snow that only he gets to see. Worried, frightened, tired.

The sky becomes brighter as the families in Palumpolum turn their lights off and scoot away to sleep, leaving the moon to embrace the sky with silver light. Hope sighs out at Snow. "I guess I can't do anything but enjoy what I have left." He continues to speak in a somber tone, although smirking at Snow mischievously, mocking his earlier statement. "Here lies Snow's virginity."

Hope snickers, and Snow replies with a chuckle himself. He raises and eyebrow. "You of all people should know that it's been dead for a long time." He smiles, leaning down into Hope to giving him a soft and peaceful kiss.

After the kiss is broken, the two sit in silence for a moment, and Hope's tone has returned to a gloomy state. "No more of those." He said softly. He notices a slight furrowing in Snow's brow, as if he was just now coming to the realization that he would not be able to spend time with Hope very much anymore, let alone _this _kind of time. He leaned back down into Hope, kissing him harder this time, with a twinge of desperate viciousness hanging onto each movement. Hope is immediately taken aback by the action, afterward melting into something like a fever, filled with light. Snow inches his tongue into Hope's mouth, prompting the younger boy to kiss back and he obliges, wrapping his arms around Snow's neck as the kiss quickens and intensifies. Hope is trapped within this, unable to think or resist as he reacts on bestial urges. He can feel Snow's desire to keep him, but knows it will tear the other apart if it continues. However, there's a side of Hope that knows the seed of guilt has already began to grow.

Their kiss deepens again, and Snow slips his hand inside Hope's shirt. The younger one breaks the kiss and inhales sharply but softly. Snow is warm against the outside cold; his skin immediately took in the heat from the other, creating goose bumps all over his abdomen. The two rest with their foreheads together for a moment as his touch travels gently up Hope's torso. He can hear Hope's whispering breath elevating, and they are mere centimeters apart. Snow does this now as a test to himself, but he feels himself fall into failure when Hope arches slightly against him, jumping as his touch glides over a sensitive spot in his skin. Snow moves his body over on top of Hope. He inches the younger boy's shirt up until Hope becomes impatient and tears it off of his body himself. He is so fair, so soft and colorless. Snow feels Hope tug at his jacket, and he remove it quickly, then removing the rest of the clothes from his abdomen. He leans back down and kisses Hope again. He shudders under Snow, the cold temperature escaping his body entirely.

But then Snow pulls back and hesitates. Hope knows this moment. This happens when Snow lets his guilt get the better of him, when he remembers that this is adultery. Snow's expression turns dark, and he moves off of Hope back into the grass, lying on his back while letting out a soft sigh. It's only a few moments before he reaches for his clothing, putting has shirts back on without a word. The last bit of chill Hope had in him returns like an avalanche as he lays there, staring up at the sky without much emotion in his face at all. Snow looks up as well. Hope can sense thick remorse in him. They sit in silence for a moment, and Hope can feel the tension of Snow struggling with himself. He leans down and kisses the young boy on the neck. Sparks fly throughout Hope's small frame and he catches Snow before he shuffles away entirely, sitting up and kissing him full force. When they break, Snow smiles and Hope returns a gaze full of hurt and confusion.

Snow's smile fades. "Hope, we can't do this once I take the leap." He says as Hope seems to collapse against his strong body. "You knew this was coming."

Anger prickles up inside of Hope. "You act like I forced you into everything." He spits back, more venom in the words than he had intended. He sits up, and turns directly to face Snow, a person inside of him clinging for dear life to Snow. He stares directly into the blond's eyes, challenging him to disagree. "Can you really just up and stop thinking about me? Are you that detached from me already?" Hope's voice does not get louder, but it fills with firm conviction, as if he trusts the words he's saying to hitch Snow into realizing how much this bothers him. "I don't know how deep my feelings run for you, and there's nothing in me that can bring myself to hate _her _either." He pauses. "But I know your feelings for me aren't weak, or you wouldn't have…" Hope fades, his resolve crumbling slightly. "You wouldn't have been doing this to Serah if I didn't mean something significant to you." He cringes at his own malicious choice of words, but he doesn't know how else to express it.

Hope gets his wish as Snow's expression changes to a soft, painful stare, as if he's mulling their entire relationship over in his mind. He says gently, "As right as you may be about my attachment to you…" he trails, his expression turning dark and hurt suddenly, "There's nothing I can do to change it." Snow looks back at Hope, wondering where all of this pent up anger was coming from. Something must have happened to Hope to change his outlook on this. Hope was usually agreeable, soft and smiling when it came to Snow, even when they were talking about Serah. Snow feels himself fidget under the younger boy's expectant gaze, and he stops himself before he starts to let on to his thought process. He makes a decision in his mind and catches Hope's eyes, challenging him back with full force. "I can't let you go just like that, but I don't have to." He frowns slightly at his own response. "I have thirty days to sort my feelings out."

The blond stands up abruptly, and Hope follows, grabbing his shirt and slipping it on over his head. He shivers slightly in the cold. Noticing this, Snow stops him and drapes his jacket over Hope's shoulders. Hope can't help but smile at the action, feeling as if, in some way, this was a small victory.. When it came down to the end, would it be a measurement of days between him and Serah? Hope thinks to himself for a moment. "I think I'm in love with you, Snow." Hope whispers quietly, praying that Snow hadn't heard him.

Before leaving, Snow pulls Hope into a soft embrace. He wraps his arms entirely around the other boy's small body, hoping that he would be able to feel this way always. "Don't worry." Snow says softly. "I'll find a way to make this good." He closes his eyes and rests his chin on top of Hope's head. "For now, please just be happy for me. I'm going to start a family."

"Okay." Hope replies with a gentleness.

As they part ways, Hope watches Snow walk the other direction, towards the promenade with a certain spring in his step. He's going to see Serah, no doubt. Only she could made him that excited. The silver haired boy wonders if he was ever that joyous about coming he came to see him, or if he even thinks about how alone the walk home is going to be.

When the synergist returns home, he slips Snow's jacket off and hangs it sloppily on the coat rack next to the door. His footsteps echo through the hallways, sending back to him messages of how lonesome the apartment was, this city was half ruin now. He sighs heavily, and moves over to his kitchen table. Vanille must have came over to see him earlier that day, because his mail was stacked impatiently there. He had given her a key because she had a bad habit of traveling to places and missing return rides home, and when Hope had come home late one day after running some errands, he had found her asleep on his doorstep, waiting for someone to let her in like a stray cat.

He turns his attention to the mail, and sorts through the bundle, trying to keep his earlier encounter with Snow out of his mind. He picks up mail and sorts through it, excited when he sees an envelope addressed from Nautilus. "Lightning Farron" was written neatly on the outside.


End file.
